how the journey began and where it is going

So it was my birthday week this past week. What a year! On my 30th birthday, I was still wondering if we would ever have kids. Mid-thirties, this blog was born and shortly after so was baby #3. And now late-ish (lol) thirties I am homeschooling, enjoying this blog (a little more consistently) and learning even more about myself through Jesus every day. This is how the journey started and what I would like to share with you here.

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I have always been a "journaler". In high school I wrote in diaries regularly. I recently found them and oh my - the thoughts of a high school freshman. Somewhere into adulthood, it got lost but when I do write, it is relaxing and clears my mind in so many ways. Not that I consider myself a writer. Let’s be clear. ;) Random thoughts written down, in a somewhat cohesive manner is all this is. :)

Because of our experiences to get pregnant, I have this passion to share my story with others. Our nutrition and lifestyle choices are not to be trendy or to be superior in any way. It is simply the choices we make based on my health experiences as a child and adult and our infertility journey. I am in constant prayer about whether it is my desire or God’s to share this story and if it is God’s, what does that look like.

This time around writing in this space has been different. Still a little scary putting myself out there, but also more relaxing and enjoyable. Maybe it’s my age, who knows.

This year has been a whirlwind of a year. Homeschooling for real and preparing to homeschool two kids next fall. Going through multiple bouts of being down and forgetting to look for and lean on God. My husband also changed jobs, which proved to be incredibly stressful - mainly due my lack of wanting change (I know.... it’s a personal problem). In each situation, I feel like God has been working on my heart and shaping me everyday.

When I first started staying home, I had all these expectations of what that would look like. And I failed miserably, at those expectations. They were so high no one could meet them. It was a constant battle between killing myself to meet those expectations and giving up completely because it wasn’t worth trying.

I was in pure survival mode for YEARS!

Part of the expectations revolved around what I was doing pre-children. My nutrition and exercise was in check. I scoured labels of products and researched them to ensure they were clean and green (no endocrine disrupters wanted here). We had a budget and was good at keeping it. Not that these aren’t great goals to attain, it was how I was attempting to get there.

Since then, I have relaxed and am aware of these expectations. I of course still set them at times, but being aware of when I do and then lowering them is the difference. Making priorities and then making choices to support those priorities has made a huge difference.

This journey I am on is to continue leaning on God, to work my way back to the nutrition and exercise levels of pre-children (or close), to have a clean/green house, and most importantly to teach the kids to love God and others (especially their siblings). The health and lifestyle goals may sound trivial, but there is so much more.

Since finding those old diaries from high school, I realize just how bad I felt then. Every other page had something about being tired, feeling sick or feeling bad in general. I remember feeling so hungry I might pass out and the constant fatigue, but to read the words made it so much more real. I know my diet had a lot to do with that. And that certainly is not anything against my parents, they did not know. But now, I do. Prayer has to keep me in check with the things I can control versus not control though. Health can easily become an idol and that is always something I am aware of to keep in check.

Having a clean house isn’t a priority over other items either, but after this last month of keeping things tidier, I can tell my mind is less of a mess. I am not tidy by nature so I have to lean on others for tips and advice. This is also an area I have prayed over, to give me the confidence to keep going (house cleaning, school, anything) when I feel overwhelmed with even the slightest thing. This change in my heart has only come from Holy Spirit, and I am thankful.

So what you will find on this blog is a little of everything, at least for now;
Jesus and to encourage you
Food and nutrition
Health and exercise
Natural living
Homeschooling
Kids in general

I am certainly not perfect and there are so many areas I need to improve on, but that’s part of the purpose of this blog. Another year older and potentially slightly wiser and I pray my experiences can encourage someone else in their journey. Maybe even share some tips of my own along the way. Even if it isn’t being a stay at home mom, Jesus is always there, whatever the path you take.

What are your favorite topics? I would love to hear them.

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Image by Free-Photos on Pixabay