This is it. The post I’ve been avoiding for over a year now. The school discussion. Despite being confident we are doing what God has called us to do, I have not always felt 100% comfortable in sharing that we.......homeschool. Warning, long post ahead. It’s kinda like therapy for me. ;)
From the Beginning - I Said No
Let’s start from the beginning. Miss R was around two years old and my husband said “Maybe we should homeschool.” Eyes wide open, I quickly dismissed him and said it wasn’t happening. It may have been the pregnancy #2 hormones talking too, at the time, but I was not interested. We had only recently decided I would stay home full time when Little Man was born and that was a transition all on its own.
We had a few friends that homeschooled and they were all “normal”. Whatever normal is, right? My husband’s argument was that we could give them just as good of an education and enjoy them more. Whatever it was, the seed had been planted.
Three Years Later
Throughout this time, homeschooling was always in the back of my mind as a crazy, last resort idea. It was something that I simply, did not want to do. Yet something was intriguing about it.
It’s not because I thought it was bad or anything negative towards homeschoolers themselves, it was just not the path I wanted to take. See that word “wanted” there? Our plans are up to God, not us, as I continue to learn over and over again. Even more so as we inched closer to Kindergarten and I learned registration starts practically at the beginning of the new year. I was not prepared to make a decision in February for school in August. I simply needed more time.
To back up a little, my hesitation of public schools came from the schools being so much bigger than where I grew up. I knew in the beginning public school wasn’t a clear cut answer, I just wasn’t sure what was the answer.
When we looked into the public school, my gut screamed no. It was the exact same feeling I had when I would drop her off at the daycare center as an infant before we switched to the in-home sitter. It was just too much. Everyone has their opinions and preferences, but my mom instincts were saying this was not the fit for us. That doesn't mean it will never be a fit, just now right now. See how I'm learning not to try to control things I may not have control over? The struggle is real.
We decided to look into a private Christian school in town. We loved it and had several great recommendations for it. Finally, that was the plan! Or was it? I had peace in being ok with changing plans if we needed to after that first year. But not so much peace in the actual decision.
I had even met with the director of Classical Conversations in April to just see what they had to say. It’s a tutoring program based on classical education model. (At the time, I had no clue what any of that meant.) I left there telling her I couldn’t see how I could homeschool that fall, especially with the baby being so young - I mean she was 18 months at the time, but still my baby.
Pray, Pray and Pray Some More
I was so desperate for the “right” decision and following God’s will. It seemed like for so long we just made decisions on our own. Since having kids and seeing God work, I’m super cautious about wanting to follow His will - sometimes to a fault.
Throughout that summer, things kept happening. Like financial things that were not expected. Everywhere I turned, we were being pointed to homeschool. Prayer kept leading back to homeschool.
One night I turned to my husband and said, “I think we have to homeschool. And we will have to do Classical Conversations, because I don't know what I'm doing and I will need that support and accountability.” He answered, “I agree. I’ve been thinking that too.”
Finally......the peace I had been waiting for!!!
It was the middle of July when this decision was made. Talk about last minute! I had to quickly wrap my mind around what life would look like. I had to somewhat grieve the loss of freedom, as this was something I had selfishly been holding on to very tightly.
One of my best friends, who is also one of the first homeschooling families I had met, told me she knew I was going to end up with this decision. That was quite inspiring and encouraging.
We are Still Making It - and Enjoying It
Here we are, getting closer to two years under our belt and I would not have changed a thing. Obviously I have learned a great deal and continue to learn, but we are learning and having fun. I have enjoyed it more than I ever imagined. Some days are super hard, but then God gives me these little glimpses of why we are doing it. When something clicks and they make a connection and get so excited, I get to be a part of that. That doesn't mean it's also incredibly hard, just also rewarding too.
We have also really enjoyed Classical Conversations. I’m not saying we will homeschool through 12th grade or that even all of the kids will be homeschooled. We are simply following God’s leading at this point. When He changes directions, we will go from there.
I know to never say never. I knew it already, but like many things we need a reminder. I’m so thankful for all the people who welcomed us into the CC community and all the other homeschool moms I have met on this path. I was incredibly uncomfortable with talking about it last year. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea that we were doing it or that I could do a good job. This year has been much better and I’m excited to start Little Man in Kindergarten next fall.
A huge shout out to my amazing husband who has been so supportive. And thank you God for gently guiding and leading us on this path. I certainly don’t believe it’s the only path or that we will even be on it forever, but he has called us here now and we are doing our best to obey. I am probably the most unlikely homeschooler, but thankfully God equips the called.
Thanks for hanging in with that super long post. This is a huge part of our lives and will become part of the blog. What are your schooling decisions and how did you get there?
Please check back often as I am adding or modifying pages as time permits.
Scripture/Quote of the Week:
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
Who Am I?
Hi! I am Pam. I am so glad you stopped by to take a look at my blog. I am a Christian, wife, stay at home PCOS mom and homeschool mom to three amazing kiddos and I'm all about all natural living and eating....realistically.
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There are several pages with information on what works for our family, references and my passions. Hop over to the About section for more details on my story and I hope you will follow me in this journey! I'm always open to comments!