When you just want to quit

Those Monday mornings when you wake up and just want to stay in bed.....that would be the start of this week. The crankiness, the exhaustion, the lack of motivation, and that was just from me - not even touching the kids’ attitudes. Enter faith, community and a whole lot of Jesus.

I don’t want to make breakfast

It started first thing that morning, when that feeling of I don’t want to do A. Single. Thing. comes on. You know it’s going to be a rough day. The egg pan had not been washed the night before but instead of justifying a Panera run, I washed it and made us eggs. Although partly was because I did not want to hear more whining about not having eggs. I’m slowly breaking them of eggs every morning.

We trudged on to our first activity at 9 am to drop off Little Man, only a minute or two late surprisingly. Instead of folding clothes or washing dishes, I finished up some sewing projects. Avoidance was the key. If I don’t look at the mess, maybe it will go away, right?

Picked up Little Man and made our way to the pool party we had already planned to attend at noon. All I really wanted to do was go home, feed them lunch and put them down for a nap. And then just sit.

The 24 hours of church camp from Friday night had taken its toll. The laundry that had been washed before we left was still unfolded. The remnants of Fort Friday was still in the living room. All good things, but all required effort to finish. Effort I just did not have on Monday.

keep pushing

Despite my crankiness and sour attitude about going to the pool party, I’m so glad I did. A community of friends is just what I needed. The moms in our group is nothing short of amazing. To voice the negative thoughts and lies we tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough can help in ways you never knew.

I actually had some motivation to work on my messy house after we got home from the pool. This morning I woke up and had a long talk with Jesus about my attitude. I felt better and had much more motivation and also grace towards the kids.

I never feel like I can get ahead in terms of housework and always feel inadequate. It is something I have prayed for while now to work toward being the mom and home keeper I wanted to be and what God wants me to be. These last few weeks have been a complete 180. I honestly do not know of any other change other than what God has provided. I have motivation and a sense to keep going, keep pushing forward. That has only come from God. Thankfully the setback on Monday was minor and short-lived and today was much more peaceful and productive.

My new laundry system has stood up to a disruption from sickness and being away for camp and then camp laundry. And maybe it is just the motivation to tackle little bits at a time, rather than get overwhelmed and immediately intimidated by what I could not finish. Again, only from God. That mentality is not natural for me. I can say, at the end of Tuesday, laundry is caught up, dishes are done and the house is back to maintenance mode. That is something to talk about, for sure!!! And I can’t take credit for any of it.

What are you struggling with today or in this season of life? If you haven’t tried prayer, t’s powerful! And if you have, be patient. And keep praying.
Enjoy your week!