Why Breaks are important

What is the definition of a break? It is different for everyone and based on who you talk to, it can vary. It also varies based on the environment, a workplace, at home, school, etc. For everyone though, a break is in essence a time away from some thing. The question is, what is that thing?

This weekend was supposed to be a weekend getaway with some dear friends. It would have been the first time in a year and a half that I left them all behind. I am always apprehensive anytime I leave (which has not been much), but that is the worrier in me and I am trying to recover from that, as best I can. This trip had several bumps during the planning process and in the end did not come together. I am ok with that, shouldn’t force something that may not need to happen. I know we will eventually get together anyway.

As the weekend approached though, I grew crankier and crankier. Some hormonal and some a communication breakdown with the husband, but the feeling of drowning was there.

That feeling like I need a break!!

My definition and my husband’s definition do not always add up, but over the years we have learned how to give each other breaks and have come a long way. Which is why today he said “why don’t you get some fresh air, you seem just a little tense.” He told me to stay out all afternoon. At first I felt guilty, of course, but then I reminded myself it is ok to take the break I know I need.

I have to give my husband props here because he is really good about coming home from work and telling me to leave; he feeds them and puts them down for bed. This hour or two is wonderful!! It isn’t scheduled and may not be regular, but they happen. I have tried to start doing the same with him. It is more difficult since I am with them all day everyday, but I see the value in him having a break too and never want him to feel like I take advantage.

So what is a break? An amount of time taken away from something you are currently doing (my definition). The length of time could be 15 minutes at work, just taking a walk around the parking lot or sitting in a break room. Maybe it’s a car ride alone to the grocery store. Maybe it’s sleeping in and the spouse makes breakfast. It’s different for everyone. (The key here is to communicate to your spouse whatever a break looks like to you-it goes a long way ;) Trust me on this.)

These short breaks are great to catch your breath, a little unwinding time. Longer breaks help you breathe deep and truly reflect. Both are essential in my world. And I assume in yours too, and it doesn’t matter if you stay home full time or work, everyone needs a break from the day in and day out.

Back to the question, what are we taking a break from (essentially the WHY we need a break)....

I used to feel so guilty to have the feeling of needing a break. After the infertility issues and not knowing if we could have kids, how could I possibly need a break from them. I love them!!!

Then I realized, I didn’t need a break from them,
I needed a break from the responsibility.

The responsibility of feeding them, getting them to sleep and at the time, changing their diaper along, with all the cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc.

There is a caveat here, this type A, firstborn, perfectionist had to learn to let some things go so I didn’t feel like I was constantly drowning. I have definitely come a long way. But the responsibility can get heavy, especially now that we homeschool too. That does not mean I want to quit, but it does mean I have to learn to manage the weight of those responsibilities. And learn to lean on God in all situations, not just when I am drowning.

I believe I had built up this luxurious weekend of taking care of only myself in my mind and when that didn’t happen, I kinda crashed. It is a busy time of looking ahead to the fall schedule and trying to finish up this year. A lot of decisions to be made. Thankfully I have a husband that can see this in me and sent me out for an extended time today.

Not only that though, it was an eye opener that despite how much I thought I have been leaning on God recently, I put too much value on that time away. Going away for a weekend isn't a bad thing, but to put so much "hope" that it was going to give me the peace I needed is where things went sideways. And then to be that affected by something of the world not going as planned is not a feeling I want to have.

Sometimes I get frustrated with needing this time, but I have to remind myself that Jesus had quiet time too. Rest is mentioned over and over in the bible. Quiet time is not a bad thing, especially if used wisely. Quiet time allows me to hear what Jesus has to say, either about his character or maybe directly for my situation.

These breaks also allows me to appreciate my family even more. I miss them while I’m out, even if it’s just for a few hours.

I have been working toward exercising more regularly and getting in a real bible study time every day. I know these things will help and are essentially “breaks” for me. Again, it is about a break in the responsibility, not from my family. It’s a work in progress and I know that God is always there with me, in the craziest of moments and in the quietest moments.

Here are a few books I recommend for rest.
Desperate: Hope for the Mom That Needs to Breathe
Breathe by Priscilla Shrirer - this is a study, but still good

What does a break look like to you? Are breaks an important part of your day or week?

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